Who cares if Joanna Trollope is decamping because the celeb count's too high and people like us keep visiting. We love the fact that we can mingle with more A-listers than you can shake a shooting stick at. "When you strike a good rhythm and the blade slips effortlessly through the water, it can be very meditative. "Many pioneers in environmentalism and the philo-sophy of the outdoors have been keen canoeists," he adds, as we haul the kitbags down to the loch's edge.. 'There is something instinctive about paddling a canoe," Jamie Whittle, my guide, says as we unload the car. Katy Holland is deputy editor of 'Mother and Baby' and www.motherandbabymagazine . She has written several books on childcare.. For extra protection, pack some antibacterial hand gel to keep in your pocket during your stay (try Milton's Antibacterial Hand Gel from high-street chemists; £1.97 for 100ml).
They've learnt a lot about our farmyard friends, including what an udder is, and are returning home with a whole new load of jokes (what do you get if you sit under a cow? A pat on the head!). Best of all, they've developed a fondness for this green-place-that-isn't-London. As Stanley says, one of the nicest things about the countryside is "all the fresh air they put there to blow away the farm smells", and I can't help agreeing It's certainly put a rosy glow on those little urban cheeks. KATY'S TOP TIP Hand-washing is imperative for kids mixing with farm animals - children are very vulnerable to the bugs and infections they carry. Our trip has certainly left my mini-muck- spreaders wanting more. Both have play enclosures, cots, swimming pools and just enough rabbits and cows to give your offspring a taste of country life without scaring them off. Accommodation ranges from bed and breakfast in a family farmhouse to self-catering in converted barns, and you can even camp in the fields if you're brave enough.
Although activities such as milking and operating machinery are covered by strict insurance rules (some things are best left to the professionals), there are still plenty of opportunities to get involved, including feeding the animals and even mucking out. If you've got a baby or toddler, go for one that's tailored to accommodate them, such as Hele Payne Farm in Devon (01392 881356; helepayne.co.uk), or Uppergate Farm in West Yorkshire (01484 681369; www.iknow-yorkshire.co.uk). If you fancy a break on a British farm, farmstayuk.co.uk is good first port of call. They've woken up to the sound of ducks laughing (well, that's what Stanley said they were doing), eaten eggs they collected themselves (even after discovering that they come from hens' bottoms), and inhaled lungfuls of pure country air - isn't this what childhood holidays are meant to be all about? And, despite the notable lack of amusement arcades, they've actually enjoyed themselves. Wellies at the ready, I've brought my pale-faced urban brood to the countryside - "the bit that's not in London", to them - where they've chased chickens, fed lambs, ridden tractors and, joy of joys, stood in the biggest piles of manure known to man.